


Respiro Dei Giorni Miei D'Amore

by kaifordays



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Broken Engagement, Broken Promises, Cheating, Drama, Engagement, Fluff, Infidelity, Jealousy, M/M, Partner Betrayal, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 17:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16748440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaifordays/pseuds/kaifordays
Summary: Was trust not enough?Kyungsoo and Jongin's relationship had always been built off strong morals, mainly based around the concept of trust. Their bond is seemingly invincible, unbreakable. Naturally, Love must prove them wrong.





	Respiro Dei Giorni Miei D'Amore

**Author's Note:**

> "respiro dei giorni miei d'amore"  
> \- Grande amore, Il Volo  
> (breath of my days of love)
> 
> good luck ;))

January 27th, 2016 ー  
Untitled  
Entry One

People say love is many things. Love is patient, love is kind. Love is indulging, love is forgiving. Love is a morning glory dripping drops of dew from its petals at dawn in spring. Love is the bright shooting star soaring across the night sky and crossing paths with various constellations. Yes, love is many things; I do agree. But people never mention that love is also pain, that love is agony. Love is the feeling of having your very own heart gorily ripped from your chest and trodden upon. Love is the downpour of a boisterous, thundering rainstorm releasing its wrath at ungodly hours of the night.

Everyone’s definition of love is unique, based on their personal experiences with it.

Where love is a blinding smile radiantly painted on one’s mouth, it is also the streaks of tears running rampant down another’s face.

 

×××××

 

141130

 

“This dancing around each other has been going on for way too long, Kyungsoo! Why don’t you just ask him out?”

Chanyeol, winner of the Worst Best Friend Medal, complains to his annoyed companion. As the self-proclaimed president of the KaiSoo Shipper Association, he believes he has every right to protest and urge Kyungsoo to finally make a move.

“Seriously, if you won’t do it someone else might swoop in and take the kill. You know very well that Oh Sehun has had his eyes on him for a while now.”

It’s not a lie, the underclassman has indeed been pining after his fellow dance major since the two of them were freshmen in the fall. But Kyungsoo is definitely convinced he deserves him more, having to deal with his own emotions much longer.

“Look, it’s not that easy. We’ve known each other since forever, and I couldn’t bear to ruin it by unveiling this huge truth that ‘Hey, Jongin! I’ve been in love with you for years and I would love to kiss you sometime! How about you?’ It simply does not work like that, Fuckyeol.”

He looks up from the salad he’s been picking around and stabbing with murderous intent. The idiot isn’t even looking at him, just staring off into the space right past him.

“Hello? How many times have I asked you to actually pay attention to what I’m saying?”

Kyungsoo glares at his best friend and mentally threatens to poke him with his fork.

“Why am I even friends with you, you di-”

“Kyungsoo?"

That’s when Chanyeol actually decides to look at him, and with all the dread of the universe spilling into his soul, Kyungsoo takes it upon himself to engage the two of them in a conversation through facial expressions and intense lip reading.

“It’s him isn’t it,” Kyungsoo mouths as his eyes go wide.

“Really? Do you need to ask? You know his voice better than anyone else. You share a room with him!”

“I’m condemned, aren’t I?” And the college sophomore can feel the thrumming in his chest accelerating to a speed of 520 beats per minute.

Chanyeol regards him with honor, a hand on his chest.

“Go now, it’s time,” he fake cries and dramatically flings the imaginary tears away, speaking as if he were some wise Grand Master.

A throat clears and recaptures their attention. As much as Kyungsoo fears him in this instant, Jongin is still there.

“Shityeol, do mind if I have a moment alone with Soo?"

Chanyeol proceeds to fall from his chair and sputter at the use of such a vulgar nickname coming from such an innocent tongue. Kyungsoo sure has been rubbing off on him.

When the giant finally removes himself from the scene - only to go off to the side and happily mark this day with a ready Polaroid camera and cute sticky notes in The Chronicles of KaiSoo by PCY - the two sit side by side in an awkward silence. It is a new, unfamiliar occurrence. After being attached to the hip since Jongin’s first year of high school, they can almost always find some topic of conversation. Whatever lack of noise between them was comfortable and hardly ever tense.

When Jongin opens his mouth, Kyungsoo is terrified half to death. Just how much did he hear from earlier?

“Did you mean what you said?”

All the blood runs cold in the older’s veins as he plays dumb.

“What? What did I say? Nini, you must be losing your mind, right? I didn’t say anything!”

His eyes dart around nervously, and his actions serve as a clear contradiction to his words.

Jongin’s face falls somber.

“I heard what you told Chanyeol. I want to know if it’s true,” he sighs out with a tone of anxiety.

The silence returns, but Jongin waits patiently. He can tell he has something itching to get out, the older showing all his usual symptoms of restlessness. His forefingers tap furiously against the denim of his jeans, he blinks twice every few seconds, and there’s a continuous noise of his molars grinding and wearing another down. Even with him, Kyungsoo was never openly willing to share some of his deepest thoughts, so Jongin gives him time.

In fact, Jongin has given him time since he first had the inkling that the older may reciprocate his own intense feelings of affection. Trying to wait for Kyungsoo to come to terms with his first love was proving to be a big challenge, even worse than when the boy was a 15 year old teenager with major identity issues and accepting the fact that he was gay. As much as Kai’s fangirls wanted to believe him to be straight, Jongin himself had known since the day he chanced upon Kyungsoo that he was whipped right away. It was love at first sight.

But Jongin is done waiting around idly. It’s been years now, and he’s pretty sure that the “confession” Kyungsoo slipped in his conversation with their best friend wasn’t entirely fake

“Please. I need to know.”

Kyungsoo takes in a shaky breath, his hands trembling just the same. This was the moment he would stop being so scared. He’s not blind to all the subtle moves Jongin tries on him, how longingly the boy stares at him whether they're squished up against each other at the lunch table or at opposite corners of the room. Kyungsoo has been more than ready to take whatever their relationship is a step further and make it official. All that was needed is a push, and perhaps his indirect proclamation of love was the key.

“Okay, Jongin.”

“Oh, thank G-”

“No, wait. Don’t say anything. I need you to listen to me, okay? No matter what I say, I hope that we will always be together as friends at the very least. You are my support pillar, and I am yours. We can’t give that up for some measly feelings, right? So regardless of how things turn out, you better not leave me alone."

He sighs deeply, unlocking the most hidden treasure in his chest.

“Kim Jongin, I love you.”

The tears were swelling in Jongin’s eyes before Kyungsoo even mentioned loving him.

“I love you, and I have loved you since we spent both of our junior proms together at your house because the idea of dancing with some girl when we’re gay isn’t so flattering. I have loved you since the day you showed at my doorstep soaking wet with tears in your eyes and you didn’t know why but you were so sad. I have loved you since Chanyeol and Baekhyun offered to take us in together and we awkwardly stumbled over words to accept. I have loved you since I learned that you hate the bitter taste of coffee on your tongue, or that your dorky self put nail polish on your lips thinking it was lip gloss, or that you call your precious puppies your children and give them all the care any parent would. I have loved you for so long, and I hope I’m not wrong about you loving me back, because man, would that be awkward.”

When Kyungsoo finally stops to regain his breath, a weight has been lifted from the baggage he bears. He loosens his merciless grip on the bench to help the blood flow back to his brain. The suffocation of holding in such fierce feelings of love was beginning to wrap itself in vines around Kyungsoo’s heart accordingly, but at last he is free. The heart of his lips forms before he can even register what is going on.

Kyungsoo is so caught up in the happiness of doing his love justice that he doesn’t realise Jongin is crying until a sob catches in the younger’s throat.

“Jongin? What’s wrong?” He misreads the situation, thinking that this is a rejection. The bile begins to rise from his stomach, and Kyungsoo is seconds away from hurling at the horrible ordeal of messing up their friendship forever.

“Wrong? Nothing is wrong!” Jongin exclaims cheerfully with a laugh through tears.

Now Kyungsoo is confused.

“To be quite honest, I’m not really following you.”

“Don’t you get it, Soo? I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He blinks. Once, twice, three times.

“I still don’t understand?"

Exasperated, Jongin throws up his arms.

“Do Kyungsoo! Is that how you answer someone who has just confessed their undying love to you?”

“But you were crying?”

“You’re hopeless, silly,” and Jongin playfully huffs with traces of elation in his breath.

“Happiness. Ever heard of crying tears of joy?”

All Kyungsoo can mutter in the midst of processing that Jongin loves him - holy cheese nuts - is a pathetic, “Oh.”

“‘Oh’ is right,” Jongin glows, appearing five times more beautiful in Kyungsoo’s eyes with the knowledge of his returned love.

The two intertwine their fingers, relishing in the moment and cherishing that they’re finally official.

The snap from behind the bushes captures their very first time holding hands as a couple.

“Such cuties they are. I can’t wait to tell my precious Baek Bean.”

 

×××××

 

141225

 

The apartment is quiet, save for soft snores vibrating in the air. A pair of boys embrace each other under thick covers, savoring each other’s body heat that will have to make do in place of the broken ventilator. The winter frost is unforgiving, but the two find solace in sleepy afternoons spent cuddling up against one another.

A light, fluffy aroma wafts in from the small kitchen a room or two away from the bed. The cookies on the cooling rack stand crisp, but no longer scalding. The oven is off, but a comforting incandescent warmth emanates from it. Later will the couple invite a third and fourth party to bask in its consolation.

The pseudo evergreen in the far corner of the living room is sprinkled in sparkling scarlet spheres while a silver spiral of garland serpents around it. It is decorated traditionally with golden strands of lights and a star radiating luminescence at its peak. Under its arms are no more than twelve gifts wrapped in two variations of paper: a pattern of striped monotone variations against a white backdrop for the more classy of the quartet and an eccentric, electric blue in splotches for... let’s say the more artistically creative personas. The presents sit perfectly straight in the nest, waiting to be hatched in the better part of the evening.

To the minimalistic pair, this is the perfect way to spend the holiday.

That is, until a certain someone decides to barge in before his invitation via text was sent.

“Rise and shine, sleepy heads!”

Of all scenes to ruin, Park Chanyeol chooses the epitome of serenity and peace as the lucky winner.

His booming voice successfully wakes them up, but it does much more than that. They end up sprawled all over the ground, each one rolling off “their side” of the bed respectively.

“Oh my shit, you fucker. Get out of here!” Kyungsoo rasps from his unnatural position on the floor. “My neck is tired of your childish antics!”

A whine escapes Jongin’s lips from the opposite end.

“My baby!”

Ever the worried mother boyfriend, Kyungsoo gasps and presses his face to the wooden flooring, uncaring of the bacteria making its way into his pores. He peers at the boy curled up in fetal position from his his own spot.

“Jonginnie, baby, are you okay? How is your back? Do we need to put the heat packs on it?” His mouth rocketing questions to his younger lover from under the bed.

Yes, the scene could be considered comically amusing if Chanyeol’s sticky situation couldn’t end up being fight or flight type of thing. Right now, his life was on the line, considering he just rocked the boat and the man of the ship was Captain Do.

After reassurance from Jongin, Kyungsoo slowly moves to stand up. He glowers at Chanyeol as he takes Jongin’s hand and leads him to the main room.

“I’m giving you five seconds to get out of our apartment before I skin you to death.”

“But, Soo! You’re forgetting that I also live here and I’m the one with a job. You need me to pay the rent!”

“Five.”

“Come on!”

“Four.”

“It’s Christmas!”

“Three.”

“Damn it, Kyungsoo.”

“Two.”

“Fine! I’ll go!”

“One. Time’s up, and you’re still he-”

Kyungsoo never does get to finish his sentence, because guess who makes just as dramatic an entrance as his boyfriend? That's right, none other than Byun Baekhyun.

“Alright, let’s get this party started! I brought the alcohol for myself and Yeol,” he winks chivalrously. “And here is a gallon of apple juice for you two,” the little devil smirks and presents said jug on the counter.

“Shut up, won’t you?” Kyungsoo growls, still upset for practically being tossed from the bed five minutes prior.

“It’s the price to pay when you guys don’t bring home the dough.”

“Who even invited you? Both of you just barged in without warning. We were going to text you about it, but I think that the offer should be revoked,” he scowls and fists his hair in frustration - all he wanted was another hour of rest and relaxation.

“Quick reminder, Soo. They’ve been living here since we were still in high school,” Mr. Empathy (also known as Kim Jongin) sides with the other couple.

The reactions of the trio vary, but it generally goes like this:

“I knew you had it in you, Jongin. I knew you were better than that monster!” Chanyeol pretends to sob out, getting on his knees to say,”All hail King Kim, redeemer of us all!”

Baekhyun, slightly more mature than his significant other, claps the youngest on the back. “There you go again, standing up for us lowly souls to your dictator of a boyfriend. You truly are an angel sent from Heaven.”

While Jongin smiles back politely, he can’t help but feel the guilt in his pure heart when he sees Kyungsoo with his mouth gaping and eyes bulging.

“You traitor! I trusted you!” He wails, throwing his hands up.

“I’m sorry, Kyungie. You know it’s the truth,” Jongin pouts, slinking over to encircle the other’s waist in his arms.

“Why did I fall in love with such perfection like yourself? You’re so breathtaking,” Kyungsoo gazes into his eyes with awe and adoration.

“Oh my shit, gross. Get a room!"

This time it’s Jongin who scoffs and narrows his eyes at Baekhyun.

“We were in our room until your fucker of an idiot boyfriend interrupted us.”

Evidently, the Kyungsoo Effect has taken its toll on Jongin and everyone’s jaws drop in horror.

“What, I can’t be sarcastic for once?”

The rest of them nervously laugh it off and dismiss the matter as a whole.

“Say, why don’t we head on over to feast on some delectable cookies?” Chanyeol offers, chuckling with a grimace on display.

“Sure, old pal! That sounds great! Let’s go, Baekhyun, my buddy.”

And with that Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun twitch anxiously to remove themselves from Kim Jongin’s newfound wrath.

Jongin grins in satisfaction, giving himself a thumbs up. His voice is sweet when he motivates himself, “Good job, Nini! You’re a champ!”

Hours later, the four of them sit huddled in a semi-circle around the Christmas tree with their corresponding boxes.

“I swear if one of you kinky bastards slipped something nasty in Jongin’s gift, I’m refunding it, keeping the money, and shaving your heads in your sleep.”

Baekhyun jeers, “Please, we learned that your threats are empty last year when we gave you that pretty pink dildo.”

“By the way, thanks for throwing it out. That was top quality shit that cost me my life,” the tallest of them spits.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and redirects the conversation to the matter at hand.

“I’m watching my baby open his presents, shut up.”

Jongin’s eyes dart up to Kyungsoo’s when he gets caught red-handed for shaking the vessel to get a hint of the contents inside.

“You’re so adorable, I love you.”

The younger blushes and returns the phrase.

Baekhyun gags, “When will you guys ever stop being so cheesy?”

“When will you guys ever stop being so immature?”

“Touche,” Chanyeol chuckles.

Baekhyun huffs.

“Anyways, Jongin! Open mine first! You’re going to love it,” Baekhyun begs like a puppy whining for its owner.

“No, don’t listen to him, open mine!”

“Mine!”

“Mine!”

A chorus of ‘mine’s occupy the room and Jongin is reminded of the pelicans from Finding Nemo. He laughs in glee and the bickering stops.

“Such precious!”

“Such angel!”

The two eldest clasp their hands together to their chest and hearts appear in their eyes.

“Such boyfriend,” Kyungsoo glares deadly at the two and kisses Jongin on the cheek. “Open mine last so I can show these asses how it’s done, yeah?"

He merely nods in confirmation and reaches for Baekhyun’s gift. Said boy continues to mock his lover in victory.

The box itself is small, but Jongin never cared much for size. When the paper is torn away, a baffled cloud shadows his eyes.

“Batteries?” Jongin is grateful, don’t get him wrong, but he doesn’t understand.

“Byun Baekhyun, of all things you could have given the personification of Heaven, you gave him batteries? I am trying so hard not to slap you upside the head,” Kyungsoo seethes in disbelief.

Baekhyun merely shrugs as Jongin thanks him with a grin and moves on to Chanyeol’s present.

It’s a robotic dog. That requires AA batteries.

Oh.

“Thank you so much, guys! I love you both so dearly, I’m so lucky to have you in my life beside me. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Jongin cries, hugging them both by the neck with absolute excitement.

“Can I open it, Soo? Please, please?”

“It’s yours, why are you asking for my permission?” Kyungsoo smiles fondly. “But I would like it if you would open mine before that.”

“Of course, how could I not?”

This time the gift isn’t tiny like Baekhyun’s or bulky like Chanyeol’s. It’s got a mediocre look to it, fitting to Kyungsoo’s personality and Jongin’s interests. Once the casing is flung away, a sleek black box stands uncovered. Its sides are naked but for a glossy shine. The only abnormality is the metal plaque on the lid making a statement with the phrase “Write to free the soul.”

Jongin drags his fingertips over the embossed symbols, memorizing every dip and curve

Then removing the top, uncovers three leather-bound journals, complete with the authentic smell. Two of them have words engraved in silver on the front. One’s message is “For My Love” and the other is “Of Our Love”. Upon surfing through the first few pages, Jongin finds that the first one is full of Kyungsoo’s thoughts of, about, and to him. The second, he assumes, is for their story to come.

“I know how much you adore words and cherish their meaning, even going as far to double-major in literature and dance. You speak your mind through graphite lead and blue college ruled lines. Writing is your outlet, and I wanted to give you the depths of my heart in the form of it. Although I’m not eloquent like you, I gave the first two a purpose. But you are unrestrained with what you choose to fill the last one with. It is yours in every sense of the word.”

Kyungsoo takes his hand, grazing his palm with the pad of his thumb.

“It’s not the greatest present ever, but I put all the sincerity of the world into it.”

Jongin is silent, but his eyes communicate every ounce of gratitude, joy, and love he feels in that moment.

“Thank you, Soo. It’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received,” he leans in to press a chaste kiss to the lips.

The tranquil ordeal is interrupted however, when Chanyeol’s outburst makes itself known.

“Excuse you, Baekhyun and I spent hours contemplating the dog or a bucket of chicken!”

And for the second time that day, Kim Jongin glowers at his best friend and sends all three of his companions to grovel in submission.

 

×××××

 

January 27th, 2016 ー  
Untitled  
Entry Two

Why isn’t heartbreak treated as an injury?

Why are there established institutions for physical pain when emotional afflictions deal a colder hand? A majority of people are blind to the standing difference between them, simply sending potential victims to psychiatric wards clustered with doctors and nurses alike who couldn’t care less. Where a fractured bone or a busted lip heals quickly with the assistance of casts or stitches, internal trauma cannot be pampered back to perfection with an adhesive bandage. It isn’t that easy to mend a broken heart. Depending on the severity of the damage, the body will restore itself back to health at some point, be it sooner or later. Yes, the same may be said in regards to one suffering the after effects of a messy breakup, but that kind of ail plants itself inside you forever. When that person desires to restart with someone new, the familiar feeling will linger in the deepest recesses of their soul, making a harp out of their heartstrings to play gut wrenching melodies.

Surely, a case of heartbreak should be catered to as any other physical harm would.

 

×××××

 

150113

 

Kyungsoo had always loved the culinary arts. Jongin, not so much. However, today was an important day that required such obstacles if he was going to pull this stunt off.

It is January 13, the day in between the couple’s birthdays.

Since high school there was a silent agreement known to all those in their social circles: Kim Jongin and Do Kyungsoo always celebrate together. Kyungsoo waits until the day after to receive congratulations, and Jongin accepts them a day earlier. That’s the way it should be, and that’s the way it has been. So it’s only common sense that it’s the way it will be. It’s only fate that none of them had classes that day.

“No, no, no!” A mess of a boy curses at his own hands and burns the recipe book with the lasers in his eyes. “This is hopeless, Jongin. You need to stop. Like right now.”

On the granite counter stands a perfectly imperfect structure one might think a cake to be. At least, that’s what Jongin hopes Kyungsoo will see. With luck, the morning haze will fog his mind and his vision will be too blurry for him to care.

Huffing, Jongin reprimands himself, “But you can’t give up at this point. All there’s left to do is give it to him. Remember your purpose. What are you doing this for? Who are you doing this for?”

Something one should need to know is that Jongin, sweetheart Jongin, isn’t your typical boy-next-door. You can’t simply trapeze around town and by some chance waltz across a personality like him. No, it doesn’t work like that. Kim Jongin is a special one, and he is definitely a keeper.

While Kyungsoo does love to baby him and worship the ground he steps on, Jongin is by all means an independent individual. He is strong enough to hold himself together in times of crisis and chaos. From high fiving his own hand to delivering inspirational pep talks to his own reflection, he knows exactly how to handle anything that comes his way.

In an interview, Jongin would probably say that aside from love itself, mutual trust is the most fundamental asset to a healthy and prosperous relationship. It is honesty which he values above anything else. He will offer himself in all ways only if there is an established understanding where no lies, no fibs, and no false sayings are involved. He will sacrifice so much, but only if there is trust.

There isn’t ever anything to hide in their relationship. Phones are left unlocked and on an open table with no second thought, any suspicious meetings are clarified the moment they are planned. They even have routine conversations about their day at night, always wanting to share feelings and happenings in their everyday expeditions. Because there is that connection, Kyungsoo and Jongin love harder than any other two you could meet.

Maybe it’s also for that reason that the younger of them finds himself in a sticky predicament - quite literally.

“Gel icing is not happening again. I swear, Do Kyungsoo, you better appreciate this because it is not ha-”

“Hey, love. Appreciate what?” A voice takes his attention as its owner crosses the hallway to the kitchen.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Jongin stammers under his breath.

He wrestles with the idea of using sprinkles to glam up the overall presentation of his disastrous delicacy, but with rapid speed decides that even if he were to cast jewels upon its frosting, nothing could possibly get it to taste halfway decent. All he can do is step away in defeat and watch as the scene plays out - preferably with no puking of guts in the repertoire of further occurrences.

Jongin chuckles apprehensively, very conscious of the monstrosity behind his back. “Hey, Soo! What a fine day it is, isn’t it? Sun is up, birds are chirping, it’s our birthday!”

“You’re very cute, and it is our birthday,” Kyungsoo nods approvingly. “But when is the last time you got your hearing and vision checked? It’s storming outside.”

“Is that so?”

From the corner of his eye, Jongin can see that indeed there are gray skies and lightning bolts. “Well, stick a pipe up my ass, why don’t you,” he chides whatever god is controlling fate that day.

“Yes, you little sunflower,” Kyungsoo cooes, coming over to throw his arms around his waist. Of course, he is oblivious to the inner turmoil in Jongin’s mind as he reaches behind him an-

“Hey, Kyungie! Why don’t you go upstairs and get ready! I was thinking of having a picnic in the park,” Jongin gently declines Kyungsoo’s advances, pushing his limbs off his hips.

In suspicion, the shorter purses his lips together and narrows his eyes.

“I don’t usually play detective, but you’re hiding something. Plus, there’s no way you want to go picnicking. I told you already, we’d be drenched! What are you trying to cover up?”

With a sigh of defeat, Jongin pulls his last trick: pity.

“I’m sorry, Soo. I didn’t mean to hide it from you, but it’s so bad. I don’t think you’ll like it. I almost died earlier, I swear. Soo, don’t hate me please!” He wails with globs of tears plopping onto the ground.

Kyungsoo is taken aback.

“Baby, what? What are you talking about? Are you okay? What are you saying, you almost died?”

The devil in Jongin’s heart smirks, “All according to plan.”

He runs into Kyungsoo’s strong hold and wails into his chest. A few hiccups are added for extra sympathy and a cuteness factor.

“I tried baking a cake for you,” cue pouty eyes, “but I couldn’t do it! It tastes so bad, you’re going to hate me for poisoning you! I didn’t mean to, I just really suck at anything food-related besides eating! I love you too much to deliberately kill you off!”

A gentle chortle pushes past his false breakdown. “Aw, baby! That’s why you’re crying so hard?”

Jongin nods, lip jutted impossibly far out.

Line cast, bait taken. Mission accomplished.

“Well, I don’t care what it tastes like. If you put your heart into this, I’m not letting the chance to get a sample of it slip,” Kyungsoo smiles reassuringly and nuzzles his face into Jongin’s neck. “Besides, I love you too much to leave because I died by the hands of a birthday cake gone wrong.”

“What a smooth talker.”

“Only for you, baby,” Kyungsoo winks suggestively.

“Oh, I know that look.”

“I know you do.”

“What do you say, we put this cake to some better use?” Jongin purrs with a lewd expression in his eyes no one but Kyungsoo knew existed. Chanyeol and Baekhyun would pass out if they knew what engaging sexual activities took place on kitchen counters with kitchen appliances during their work hours. No one would imagine it, but Jongin was the kinky type.

“I say,” Kyungsoo trails a hand down to his lover’s growing arousal and squeezes, “have at it.”

Jongin mewls perversely and pounces on the other.

It sure is fortunate that the two of the older couple are occupied, for walking into the christening of their coffee table with the assistance of cake and other baking essentials would have scarred them for good.

The remainder of the day comes in marathoning Glee with popcorn at close reach. Having been spent from their rigorous physicality earlier, they can only sigh into each other’s clutches as Kurt deliberately jacks the high F in Defying Gravity, giving Rachel Berry the solo she so earnestly deserved. Doesn't hurt any less than the first time watching it.

“Poor Kurt.”

“You’re right.”

Sigh.

“Happy birthday to us,” Kyungsoo whispers, nodding off to some angelic melody playing in the background.

“Happy birthday to us,” Jongin repeats, falling asleep to the sight of a beautifully wrecked Do Kyungsoo in his lap.

 

×××××

 

150214

 

“Alright, we’re headed out now!” Baekhyun yakked from the door, dragging Chanyeol by the wrist behind him. “Have fun,” he chirps with his eyebrows raised suggestively high.

The front door slams and immediately Jongin rolls from his side of the bed onto Kyungsoo’s chest, a determined glint in his eyes.

“Okay, now that we’ve gotten those two rascals out of the way, why don’t we have a bit of Valentine’s fun ourselves?” His smile radiates innocence as he snuggles into his lover’s chest. “I heard they’re playing Beethoven at the park later tonight. Maybe I can take you on a picnic for real this time.”

Kyungsoo shifts one hand to pillow his head as the other strokes Jongin’s locks mindlessly. Gazing down at the younger, he frowns. “I don’t mean to crush your picnic fantasy again, but I was hoping we could do something else today. I kind of might have already planned the whole thing out,” he explains regretfully, watching the excitement in Jongin’s face deflate like a balloon. Nevertheless, he recognizes the appreciation and knows they’re alright.

“Of course, Soo. I’m up for anything as long as I’m with you.”

It’s funny how they can almost hear Baekhyun gagging from how romantically corny they are.

“Can I tell you a story?"

Instantly, Jongin brightens up. He nods his head vigorously, obviously anticipating what Kyungsoo had in mind.

“Once upon a time, there-”

“No."

Taken aback by the harsh rejection of his tale, Kyungsoo stares quizzically down at Jongin.

“Um, okay? I guess no story time for us then…”

“No, I didn’t mean to stop you. Just please don’t pull that ‘once upon a time’ gag. As an aspiring writer, the phrase physically hurts me.”

One blink.

Two blinks.

A sigh of relief.

“Okay, okay, baby. No more overused, overrated opening lines for me,” he rolls his eyes playfully and bonks the bridge of Jongin’s nose with his finger. “No more interrupting,” and he half-glares at the boy atop him.

“Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo, a hallway full of students, and a Polaroid camera. Picture it in your mind.”

Baffled, Jongin tilts his head to the side and stretches to question the elder.

“Oh Sehun? You know him? He's a freshman like me.”

“Let me tell you something, Nini. He and I are very well acquainted.”

“Okay then...,” Jongin trails, unsure of what to make of the elusive statement.

“Anyways, I want you to close your eyes and imagine it all.

On this particular winter day I was especially irritable, given the fact Chanyeol pulled the plug to my alarm clock as payback for finishing his last applesauce cup - I’m sure you remember that. I was late to class by half an hour and the professor threatened to slash my grade down a letter. Absolutely mortified, I stormed the entire two miles of icy bricks and biting wind across campus to the fine arts building to find a certain dipshit.

As soon as I found my insufferable victim, another crossed my path: Oh Sehun.

The original plan was to obliterate everything that is Park Chanyeol and throw his remains into the dumpsters behind the school, but I figured I could kill two birds with one stone.

You may think I’m being dramatic, but trust me. This was a serious clusterfuck of rage and jealousy and possessiveness.”

A sweet giggle halts his narration.

“I’m sorry, Soo. I lost you at clusterfuck. What kind of word is that!” Jongin chokes out in between gasps of hilarity.

“Baby! I thought we agreed on no interruptions!” Kyungsoo pouts.

“Fine, fine! I’m sorry, I’ll calm down now.”

“Thank you.

As I was saying, when Hoe Sehun met eyes with mine, the tension in the room sprung out of control. We had been longtime enemies and he was out for revenge. Why you ask? Well, you might be as charming as a child sometimes, but I know you're not the least bit oblivious. There’s no way you haven’t seen the way he drools over you when you do a solo for a number. In fact, he’s asked you outright on a date in front of me before we were together. We have been rivals from the very second he stepped onto these grounds and found affection for you. I don’t blame him, who could resist you? But his advances didn’t stop even after we started dating. That, my angel, is where he overstepped a boundary and named himself Victim #2.

Like I’ve already mentioned, I was in an especially disgruntled state. As it would turn out, so was he; exhausted both emotionally and physically. Maybe it would have been a good idea to lay off the kid and try to sympathize, but I was merciless. The air was so thick, Chanyeol later told me some kid actually took out a knife and made to slash through it.

Back to the point. He and I were fed up and furious with each other. He glared deep into my soul and I spat at him. That’s what blew his top off before he leapt forward and attacked me like a savage tyrant. I took a few well deserved punches before I shoved him into the nearest wall - which by the way should be an incredible feat due to our massive height difference. I jabbed at his face as he tried to push me off.

This went on for a few minutes, the going back and forth in circles, fists ready to go. At some point, it got so tiring that we both collapsed. Many onlookers dispersed unsatisfied that we only ended up with minor scratches and not a whole lot of damage but for our scarred prides. Some even went as far as laughing while we simply laid there, basking in the aftermath of what could have been a really great fight if we had actually managed to get a good hit on target. I guess I hyped it up to make myself seem manly, whoops.

So there we were, panting heavily on the ground, when Sehun outstretched his arm and said one word, ‘Truce.’

I shook on it and smiled.

But then there was a flash and a click.

Park Chanyeol, that moron fucking captured that instance on his damned Polaroid camera. And as much as he likes to believe we don’t, we all know where those pictures go to. So when he finally decides to give us that book, you’ll know exactly what went on that day.

Oh, but don’t worry. Chanyeol got his beating later on,” Kyungsoo concludes, patting the top of Jongin’s head.

The silence stuns him. He expected cheers of, “Soo, you’re so valiant! That wretched Oh Sehun could never have me!” All he got was a quiet Jongin in his hold.

“Nothing?”

“Am I supposed to be thanking you?”

“What?”

“Did you think I’d be happy that you and Sehun practically got in a brawl over something like this?”

“Jongin?"

“Kyungsoo, look. I love that you love me so much, but did you have to fight to prove that?”

Shocked, Kyungsoo nudges the younger off of him and pulls himself into a sitting position.

“Was it really necessary to go off and cause such a commotion when you knew you already had me? Did you need to shove it in his face? Quite literally, might I add!”

“You are the token of his affections, you don’t know what he is capable of. He could’ve used his great dancing skills to win you over, because we both are painfully aware of the wet noodle I turn into when I dance. He’s taller than me, younger than me, more talented than me, better looking than me! Don’t you see that you could very well swerve into the wrong lane and end up on Cloud 9, whipped and in love with his tantalizing eyes? I had to do something to tell him to back off!”

With bated breaths and widened eyes, Kyungsoo places his hand on his chest, where his heart protests in hasty pulses.

“Is that what this is about?” Jongin speaks hushed. “Are you afraid of losing me? Is that what it is?”

“If it was, why is it wrong to be worried? You are perfection, anyone would want you.”

“But I wouldn’t want just anyone.”

It takes that one accusation for Kyungsoo to falter and listen.

“Come, here. Reminisce with me,” Jongin whispers and pulls him by the wrist. Their positions are switched from the norm, Kyungsoo’s head resting on his chest while he entangles fingers through his hair.

The instant Jongin’s hand scratches his scalp in that soothing motion, Kyungsoo feels all his worries seep from his mind, leaving his soul through a soft moan of comfort.

“Do Kyungsoo, it has been forever since we first met. Do you remember the day? Why am I asking, of course you do.”

A light chuckle here.

“It was a unique way to make friends, but I definitely think it fits us.

I was a fish out of water, wandering alone in the hall on the first day of school. It took me forever to get to my locker and open it, then with an added three minutes to walk from there all the way to the freshmen annex, I was actually running late to class. You’d think that the teachers would show some compassion, but no. I felt so alone and abandoned, already hating the muck up of a year that was predestined to be.

I was sprinting with my head down, hair shielding the tears that had begun to form at the corners of my eyes, when I crashed into this unidentified being. With all the panic in the world I rushed to dust myself off and apologize because what if it had been the school bully? A hot senior? The principal? In utmost sincerity, I stuck my neck out and glanced up.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

There you were in all your glory. You were roasting my guts on a stick in your head, but despite that I couldn’t help but feel this explosion of fireworks. Your hardened stare was so intimidating, yet enticing all the same. I didn’t care who you were or what you thought of me, I knew that I had fallen in love.

Approximately five years have passed since then, Soo. Do you know how many days that is? 1,865 days.”

“Not to be a smartass or anything, but it’s actually 1,866 because one of those has to be a lightyear.”

“Regardless of whether or not there was a February 29th, I have loved you all that time. I am just as smitten with you today as I was when I pummeled into you - probably even more.

Why do you need to be worried? I’m never leaving, you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life!”

An eruption of laughs echo off the walls as the tense aura slowly fades to nothing.

“Fuck, what did I do to deserve you?” Kyungsoo breathes out when he sobers, taking Jongin’s face into his hands. “You really are too good for this world.”

“Stop making me blush like a high school girl! One, I’m a man, and two, we’re already in college,” Jongin groans and covers scarlet turned cheeks behind his palms.

“I’m only stating the truth.”

"I love you.”

“But I love you more.”

“Wrong, I love you m-”

“No you don’t, it’s impossible,” Kyungsoo interjects and starts again before the other has an opening to retort. “We should get ready and start the day now. Romance awaits,” and with that he hops off the bed and bounds off to the shower, but not before landing a nice, clean smack on Jongin’s sweet ass of course.

“It’s not nice to use all the hot water before I get a chance,” Jongin hints at some early morning Valentine’s Day action. It wouldn’t be the first time they made love in steam and suds.

“It’s not, that’s for sure. Why don’t you put me back in line?”

Jongin has to snarkily reply to that. Kyungsoo set himself up for the perfect comeback.

“What line? Last time I checked, you were nowhere near straight.”

“No more hot water for you! You asked for it!” Kyungsoo teases in mock offense, but leaves a crack in the door nonetheless.

Jongin laughs to himself and heads in afterwards.

An hour of soapy touching later, both are immaculately spotless and walking out the door, hands tucked together.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s supposed to be a surprise, silly.”

“Come on, Soo. I just want to judge if it beats Beethoven.”

Kyungsoo hums, mulling it over in his head.

“I’m not absolutely certain it will beat the greatest composer of all time, but in my book it doesn’t need to as long as we’re together.”

“Maybe Baekhyun is right, we need to lay off the cliché.”

“Is that so? Then we should probably turn back now while we can. If there’s something I will disclose to you, it’s that today is guaranteed to be full of clichés."

It is. The day really is jam-packed with cringeworthy cheesiness, but that’s just how Kyungsoo rolls. To Hell with Baekhyun if he has an issue with it - and he shouldn’t. Especially since he played a key role mapping the execution of the event of the night: the promise proposal. Yes, jobless Kyungsoo has somehow scraped together the money to pay for a silver band that will rest on Jongin’s left hand until their engagement. It was a tough feat, and he certainly feels guilty for borrowing from his - surprisingly generous - parents and their group of employed friends, but it will all be worth it when he and Jongin are lounging in the backyard of their cozy home while watching their three dogs chase each other’s tails. Long story short, if Byun Baekhyun had a real problem with them being cliché, he wouldn’t have agreed to blueprinting the itinerary for tonight’s date and acting as its supervisor from afar.

“Fine, since you so diligently planned everything out.”

“I won’t disappoint, baby. I swear to you.”

The lovebirds continue their walk in silence, drinking in the comfort of the singing wind and a faint sunny sky until a buzz vibrates in Kyungsoo’s back pocket.

‘Mission is a go,’ is what he knows Baekhyun typed.

Great, let’s get this thing started.

“Enough of this mindless frolicking, I want to travel down Memory Lane for a bit.”

With a quirk, Jongin hums in curiosity, “What could you mean by that, I wonder?”

“Let’s just say it involves a certain oak tree.”

A disbelieving gasp kisses Jongin’s lips goodbye.

“No way, Soo. Are we really?”

“Why would I ever lie to you?”

“We’re really going to back? You’re going to be okay?”

“Jongin, please. I’m not an out-of-place high school sophomore anymore. I’m over it! Besides, I know how much Oakley meant to you - to us - back then before that happened.”

“I’m being serious, Kyungsoo. As much as I relied on Oakley for inspiration and company when you weren’t there, he’s just a tree,” Jongin sighs, removing his hand and using it to brush back stray strands of hair off his boyfriend’s forehead. His touch lingers a few seconds after before he retreats and scrutinizes his reflection in Kyungsoo’s eyes. Yes, he would absolutely love to revisit his own Giving Tree, but there are more important matters to tend to that hold greater priority. “Those guys beat you halfway to death, Kyungsoo.They messed you up in the premature stages of realising your sexuality. What they did traumatized you so badly, you wouldn’t speak to me for days and had to attend bi-weekly counseling sessions. This isn’t something that can be overlooked just for the sake of making flashbacks a reality. I’m okay with not seeing Oakley; it’s been five years, I’m positive I can wait longer.”

Kyungsoo smiles in genuine appreciation. How grateful he is to be able to call Jongin his own.

“Thank you, baby. I really adore that you’re willing to do such a thing for me, but trust me. I’ve put it all behind me! Those wretched days with that intolerable shrink weren’t spent in vain. I’m okay now. Besides, I’ve been planning this for the past month and I’m not letting it go down the drain because of something that ruined me as a child.

The glimmering in Jongin’s eyes say it all: “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

A few scattered chuckles later, twisted roots and long branches come into view. The badump of Kyungsoo’s heart revs alive like the engine of a Nascar racing vehicle. Memories of blood and agony pluck his heartstrings to a dangerous, volatile melody. He shuts his eyes for a moment, reminding himself why he is there.

“This is for Jongin. This is for Jongin. For Jongin. Jongin,” he repeats as if it were some holy mantra over and over again in his head and soon enough, his mind is clear.

“I have to admit I was weary of coming back here, but this is the day to change it all. Let’s write a new story, Nini.”

As they approach, Kyungsoo smirks in surprise. Baekhyun really outdid himself. Even if the sun is still a very blinding yellow in the sky and it’s only roughly noon, he - likely with the help of Chanyeol - strung twine balls of light amid twigs above their heads. On the ancient wooden bench residing next to the stump rests the better of Chanyeol’s two acoustic guitars, Marley, just begging to be played. There is a foldable picnic table on the small flat of the ground facing the sparkling pond that neighbors their tree friend. Kyungsoo recognizes the vase full of hand-picked perennials standing between two plates of finger sandwiches and fruit. The atmosphere is elegant but not too formal, and it is just right for them.

A gasp of delight brings him back to Earth, only to feel Jongin release his hand and sprint off to wrap his lanky limbs around the tree’s base.

“Oakley! How I’ve missed you, your leafiness!”

The sight is endearing, enough to warm Kyungsoo’s heart to the point of forgetting the blackened eye and bruised ribs.

“Do you like it, baby?"

“Do I like it? Soo, I love it! The place looks absolutely enchanting! It’s like it has come straight from some modern fairy tale!”

Through the excitement, Jongin’s growling stomach tells them both to shut up and feed him. Kindly, so as to not further upset Mr.Stomach, they abide by his request and fill themselves up with not only bread and berries, but the consolation of lighthearted small talk and smiles.

“I see that Marley seems awfully forlorn over there, waiting for someone to strike her strings.”

Kyungsoo agrees, “You’re right, maybe I should serenade you to make her happy.”

The ballad he chooses to belt out is an emotional one. It describes the love he has for Jongin, the pain they’ve been through, the occasions where no one else matters if only the other is happy. His song is so momentously moving, that by the time he concludes it with the final line, both he and Jongin are in tears.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” the younger cries into his sleeve, feeling as if the Heavens have opened up and gifted him their most precious angel.

The rest of the day passes in joyous laughter, vintage arcade games, and expensive fanciful meals that on no other day would they dare feast on. As night nears and the day draws to a close, Kyungsoo’s nerves skyrocket to somewhere more distant than space. His anxiety about the proposal was successfully kept at a down low for the majority of the time, but suddenly questions bombard him in a raid he was never warned about. What if Jongin says no? What if he never wanted to get married? What if this is simply something to pass time before graduating from university and moving on to the real thing? All those pesky, infamous ‘what if’s don’t leave his mind. But then Kyungsoo takes a small glimpse at their intertwined hands and all of his doubts disintegrate into ashes, as if they never even existed. What has he got to worry about? Jongin loves him.

A while back, the two had switched from walking to Kyungsoo’s car - which of course was coordinated to be ready by the labor of Byun Baekhyun. As Jongin remains clueless about where in the city their destination is, the sun outside their windows begins to say his evening farewells.

“There is one last thing I have prepared for tonight.”

“Even after everything we’ve done today, you still have another trick up your sleeve? You are impossible, Soo."

“Well it’s no Beethoven, but I’m certain this gives him a run for his money.”

“I’m dying out of curiosity! Why do you always lead me on like this?”

“Don’t you worry, baby. You’ll be enlightened soon enough,” Kyungsoo reassures as he reverse parks into one of the four spaces fenced off from an open grassy field.

“This is it,” the elder speaks in his mind.

“Wow, Kyungsoo. While this is gorgeous, I can’t really imagine what business we would have here. We’ve already eaten dinner, so I’m sure it isn’t another picnic."

Kyungsoo lays out a typical red and white checkered blanket, staying mum while gathering the right words to utilize in his speech. Even if he rehearsed a collection of different ways to pop the question - seven times to his reflection, twelve times to Baekhyun, and three times to Chanyeol - they flung themselves from a rooftop and not one of them had the generosity to stay. He is a wreck on the inside, that much is true.

“I guess sunset watching is pretty romantic, nice choice.”

Under the swirls of fuchsia and violet hung high in the sky, Jongin glows. He is the definition of beauty, and Kyungsoo can’t help but somehow find the words he needs in patches of highlighted skin and curls of hair billowing in the breeze. They come naturally to him.

“Jongin, as perfect as you are right this moment, I need you to listen to me.”

Interest piqued, the younger’s features contort and etch an intrigued shimmer in his eyes.

“For the sake of the impact of the real deal, I’ll keep this short.

Nini, five years ago you had the audacity to come literally crashing into my life and confuse everything I had ever known about myself. You were this blustering category five hurricane and I was stuck in the eye of the storm with no way out. Given how close we were and the level of intimacy we shared as only friends, it was inexorable that eventually we would fall in love. Fall we did and many years later, here we stand.

I know we’re only in college, surviving off of our best friend’s paychecks, but have you ever stopped to think of what’s going to become of us when we graduate? Our majors call for different lifestyles, and we’d be sure to become isolated from each other in some shape or form. Well, I don’t know about you, but losing such an important part of my life would devastate me.”

Before an unearthly being of grace and refinement, Do Kyungsoo gets down on one knee for the first time in his life.

“Kim Jongin, I live to love you every waking moment of my existence. You are the reason the sun shines and the waves crash. You are all four seasons and all seven continents. You are the one person I could ever imagine myself owning a house with, going down to the animal shelter with, adopting children with. I only see myself with you. We are without jobs now, but in a few years, I want to be the one who provides for you. I want to be the one who pampers you with love and affection. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. So when that time comes, would you do me the honor of being your husband?”

When Jongin remains mute and head down, Kyungsoo feels this rumbling thunder cloud of regret trembling inside his heart. It was too soon. Jongin isn’t ready for this. He’s only 21! Of course he’s wary, they aren’t even guaranteed careers yet. This was too soon, much too-

“Yes.”

And with that single word, Kyungsoo is pulled from his internal monologue of mortification.

“Yes, Kyungsoo! Yes!”

Dumbfounded, the older can’t move an inch from where he kneels on the sheet.

“You will?"

“Of course I will! I love you, I love you, I love you!” Jongin exclaims, tears inescapably rolling down his cheeks. He throws his arms over Kyungsoo’s shoulders and crashes their lips together in the most passionate kiss they’ve shared. Through it, he conveys all the love he has inside him and the triumph and gratefulness that courses through his veins in that very moment.

Still frozen, Kyungsoo utters, “You don’t think it’s too soon? That we don’t even have a set life in place yet? And society! Not everyone is going to accept us. Hell, we might even have to pay thousands to find an officiant to marry us! Are you sure you’re willing to go through with this?”

“You know, for having just proposed a minute ago, you suck at believing in yourself.”

“It’s only because you make my knees weak and my heart shake. I can’t help but feel inferior to your inordinate flawlessness.”

With a grin stitched onto his lips, Jongin rebukes, “Well get used to it, you’re dealing with this until the end of our days.”

 

×××××

 

150214

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun lie in bed after an exhausting day of running around with walkie talkies, the damned Polaroid, and a variation of supplies needed for each place and event Kyungsoo took Jongin. Sure they had to sacrifice their own Valentine’s Day, but if their best friend trusted them enough to assist him in something as grand as proposing, they didn’t mind giving one day of the year away. Besides, there were many more lovey dovey, Cupid-filled, candy heart holidays to come.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Yeol,” Baekhyun whispers, curling into his big spoon when they finally get the chance to breathe.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to actually do anything for ourselves today.”

Chanyeol chuckles, voice husky when he speaks, “I shamelessly enjoyed scurrying off with you to fulfill Kyungsoo’s proposal needs. Besides, I didn’t mind helping him out. I am really happy for those two love birds. Their future together is bright, I can see it.”

“Oh, shut up. You don’t have those super power, alien abilities you so longingly desire. But that’s okay, I love you just the way you are.”

In a state of elation and ease, Baekhyun twists uncomfortably to peck his lover on the cheek. Ever bashful, Chanyeol blushes a deep red and buries his face into the other’s clothed back.

When he cools down a bit, the giant tentatively muses aloud, “Speaking of the future-”

“We weren’t speaking of the future,” Baekhyun interjects sharply, tensing in Chanyeol’s arms. It was not a topic he preferred to touch on.

With a sense of rejection and a dampened mood, Chanyeol recoils and tries again, this time with a subtler approach.

“Sometimes my dreams are filled with prospects of what is to come. When I see Kyungsoo and Jongin, people younger than us, I start thinking of what will happen when we graduate. I love you more than I love myself, and I would hate if we broke up because we have to go our separate ways. So I thought, why don’t we get married?”

While fondness pulls at the corners of Chanyeol’s lips, Baekhyun chokes on nothing but his own saliva. The older has to sit up and detach himself from the other to stop the coughs that hack at his throat. When he does calm, he stays quiet and retreats back into his turtle shell. Chanyeol can’t help but feel left out, though concerned.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Hesitantly, Baekhyun unfurls himself and finds the urge to return to his rightful place beside the giant, his giant.

“Nothing, I’m okay. Let’s just close our eyes and sleep now, yeah? Yeah, that sounds good.”

And before Chanyeol even has the time to react, Baekhyun’s head lolls toward the pillow and soft snores fill the air. Although his topic of conversation was shot down so hurriedly, he can’t let this irk him. Chanyeol nods to himself and heeds to his lover’s orders, cuddling closer to attain some much deserved shut-eye.

**Author's Note:**

> one day i will revise this entirely. i promise.
> 
> it was written two years ago amd uh yikes she needs some help so.


End file.
